Evans Edition

Friday, September 28, 2012

Cousin Ashley's Wedding

Josh & Ashley

When did they grow up?

Just when I thought these boys couldn't get any cuter—add the bow ties and bam

The flower basket cousin Abby held in Elle's honor

Cousin Sara created the games for the carnival reception and put Cam in charge :)

The Evans' side

We love you, Ash and Josh! Great party!!

And remember...

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

~Phyllis Diller

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

(Clear back in May...) Cousin Clint returned from his mission to New Zealand a red-headed, white Tongan.
He speaks Tongan, speaks English with a Tongan accent, eats horse like a Tongan, and eats like a horse :)

He's humble (as always) and has great stories about busting skateboards and punching companions to get them properly motivated for tracting :)

He taught his cousins the haka.

And brought the boys Tongan tupenu's to wear to his homecoming.

We're all pretty happy he's home again!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Briner Reunion in Cali

Shopping at the skate shops

Mia got picked up on by this Ninja Turtle

Stacks Pancake house was awesome! Yummy coconut syrup :)

Getty's 13th birthday at Ninja Turtle's grandpa's Mexican restaurant.

An ear infection for Cam...

This is what happens when Mom is distracted.

Knott's Berry Farm

Aunt Megan and Uncle Scott PDA

Grandpa Doug with Cam

A break for dinner at Cheesecake Factory

Giant Swings

Getty skim boarding

Sand castles with the cousins

Uncle Nate and Morgan

Leaving our beach camp

I love this pic of Avery in all her glory ;) Britt says she makes a point of wearing her sunglasses high above her ears—a trendsetter

Getty showing MK the ropes

Cam's birthday celebration at Chilis, "What?? How did they know it's my birthday??"

Mia met up with Ninja Turtle at the beach.

Dinner with the adults by the pier:
[l to r] Patrick & Jen, Doug & Mom, Nate & Morgan, Craig & Britt, Rob & me, Scott & Megan

Raging Waters was packed, but the kids had fun.

This is a locals' surf beach that we had no business being at. We sat in a line of cars waiting for cars to leave the beach—one car leaves; one car proceeds to the beach. Cam got cut up by the rocks in the first 5 minutes.

Update: Ninja Turtle moved to Utah last month and drove from Payson with his grandpa to see Mia. I'm not sayin' he moved to Utah for Mia, but um.... ;)

Monday, September 17, 2012

Good Grief: month 5

Rob has told me for months he feels empty. Today he tells me he's feeling worse.

He's mad.

Not at Heavenly Father or anyone in particular, just mad that this is our story. Mad that she's gone, and we can't have her back in this lifetime.

I am so tired of crying.

I was still in love with Elle when she died—that stage that mothers go through with each of their babies/toddlers. I was still there. I mean, just look at her. Her popped knee, hand on her hip, sucking on her juice box, posing for her mom. She is my definition of adorable.

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." —Kahil Gibran

Elle was my delight for the four + years of her life. And now it feels like I will cry for every hour I spent with her.

Elle's self-portrait :)

I still keep track of 6 kids in my head. I'm still surprised when I look behind me in the car on vacation and see only M&M and the boys. I set out clothes for church, and I'm done before I should be. I'm not doing enough laundry—where is it all? At the dinner table—where is everyone? I'm alone in the house again?

For the first time in 18 years, I'm not keeping track of a baby or toddler. The freedom is uncomfortable. I feel like pacing. My youngest child now is 7 and in school full-time (!). I have a daughter who is away at college (—how can that be?). Mia will be driving and dating in October. As of July, I have a teenage son. Cy is in 4th grade and playing tackle football. Suddenly the kids seem to be slipping through my fingers. They're growing up too fast. I know it's premature, but I'm starting to panic about my life after kids. What am I going to do with myself? I don't have dreams and hobbies and aspirations I can't wait to launch into when the kids are grown. I've been living my dream. I wanted several kids, so this phase of life would last longer. When they're gone, I can always volunteer, go overboard on my church calling, read, go to the temple whenever I want, work out on my schedule, have a clean house, be able to find my nail clippers and house phones, but seriously—is that any way to replace motherhood? What job is going to be nearly as fulfilling as raising someone you love dearly to be happy in this world?

Jeffrey R. Holland, in speaking of Lot's wife, sums up my struggle, "... her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future.

"She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently she thought—fatally, as it turned out—that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as those moments she was leaving behind....

"To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now; to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future; to miss the here-and-now-and-tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there-and-then-and-yesterday—these are some of the sins, if we may call them that, of ... Lot's wife."

I cried as I read in black-and-white some of my most poignant emotions expressed so clearly.

And I was grateful for this reminder "... faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives."

I can trust in the promise of a very distant tomorrow, but I hope to do better than that. I hope I can trust in the here-and-now and in what Elder Joseph B. Worthlin referred to as the Law of Compensation. I have seen it come into play already in our lives, and we're just getting started.