The kids spend the day at the hospital with us.
Rob feels strongly that we should arrange for an organ donation, so we review the information and decide to have her kidney donated. We both want to release her from her traumatized body as soon as possible. The process of authorizing donation after brain death takes two days. We decide to donate after cardiac death instead. The donation team can assemble by 6:00 p.m. but will require us to hand Elle over to the surgeons just minutes after death.
Rob feels strongly that we should arrange for an organ donation, so we review the information and decide to have her kidney donated. We both want to release her from her traumatized body as soon as possible. The process of authorizing donation after brain death takes two days. We decide to donate after cardiac death instead. The donation team can assemble by 6:00 p.m. but will require us to hand Elle over to the surgeons just minutes after death.
We bring the kids to Elle's bedside. They each lay beside her and talk to her and touch her. Then they each take another long turn.
Cam is afraid to lay next to her but tells her he loves her and kisses her good-bye.
The kids leave with the Child Life social workers.
The nurses lift Elle's swollen body and place her on my lap, still hooked up to life support. She feels very heavy as I try to hold her as close to me as possible. I kiss her forehead again and again as my tears fall all over her face, and I whisper how much I love her and how happy she will be in just a few minutes. Rob is sitting next to me stroking Elle's legs in his lap. We hold her for a long time and then tell the doctors we're ready.
It is 6:21 p.m. They clamp off her life support, and I watch the color quickly drain from her face. She makes no sound or movement. Her skin is grayish blue, and the doctors tell me it's time to let her go. Time of death is 6:35 p.m.
Cam is afraid to lay next to her but tells her he loves her and kisses her good-bye.
The nurses lift Elle's swollen body and place her on my lap, still hooked up to life support. She feels very heavy as I try to hold her as close to me as possible. I kiss her forehead again and again as my tears fall all over her face, and I whisper how much I love her and how happy she will be in just a few minutes. Rob is sitting next to me stroking Elle's legs in his lap. We hold her for a long time and then tell the doctors we're ready.
Then Rob and I stumble out of the PICU to face a life without Elle.
5 comments:
There are no words. I want to squeeze every single one of you. We pray for the Evans every day. Eliza won't let a prayer go by without whispering to the one praying. "Don't forget the Evans!"
As a mom, I'm not sure how I would prepare my children to say goodbye to their sister. The pain in their eyes is heartbreaking.
I am amazed by your strength. And by your faith and determination. Your family is in our prayers.
Love you
Oh my goodness, this is so hard, yet so humbling, spiritual, and amazing to read your story. I just hope you know how much your family is thought of and prayed for. :(
I love you. It kills me that you and your family are enduring so much pain and grief. I hope it is therapeutic for you to record your experiences in this way. You are an amazing woman, Lorenne, and I believe that God and his angels are watching over your family....I hope you feel moments of peace and find strength in the knowledge that you will be with Elle again someday.
As I have read your blog about Elle, I have been so hoping that the story had a different ending. Thanks for sharing such a special and heartbreaking story. I wish I was wise and could say something that would help. But, I know the Lord will help you and your family. Love to you all. As always you are still in my prayers.
Post a Comment