So, I had a paradigm shift during a conversation (over a cut and color) with Susie that changed my definition of success regarding home life. Her twins got their calls to Geneva Switzerland (French) and the Baltic mission (Russian). She described the life she has with them now, and how it would soon be over. Teenagers are always coming and going. Five or six of Alex and Austin's friends call her "Mom." At least twice a week, her boys and their 6 to 15 friends make "Bazookies," baked cookie dough spread out in a pan topped with whatever ice cream and goodies the friends find or bring from home, and they all grab a spoon and eat out of the same dish. They're respectful and clean up after themselves for the most part. They all watch the Jazz play-offs on the big screen downstairs. The best part is she knows all of her boys' friends. She overhears conversations, and she knows what they're doing on a Thursday night, because they're there. She said she feels bad for the neighbor boys across the street. They are around the same age, but they are really studious and don't socialize much. If they look out their window on most nights, they see a bunch of cars at her house.Success as I used to define it went like this: "clean, organized, orderly, controlled, buttoned up, tucked in, snuggled down..." you get the point. And it was all about family life. Success redefined: "fun, social, friendship, memories, hospitality..." Family life now includes friends as an integral part of our kids' development, experience, and happiness. I want a close family life, and I want my kids to have a great social life, especially in their teen years. I want to give our kids what I didn't have growing up (socially). I want them to feel like they are right in the thick of the high school fun times, not always missing out. And I don't want to miss out on their lives and friends and fun. I don't want to lose my kids at 15 or 16, because they're over at someone else's house. The cost will be late nights and less privacy and more commotion and noise, but my guess is it'll be well worth it.
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I was watching "Jon and Kate plus 8" the show about a couple and their twins (6) and their sextuplets (2). Kate said that she was talking to a friend whose kids were in college and how the #1 memory of her kids childhood is their once a year "Ice Cream for Dinner" night. What a great idea! *Although with Jack, I might have to make it a once a year "Fruit Extravaganza!"
You are one smart mama. We make Pizzookie, too. (We call it that because it's cookie in a pizza pan.) What a great idea to share with the kids. We want to make our house a fun house, too, so that kids want to be HERE. I never had that either. My dad got really impatient with teenage noise (and there were 5 younger siblings), plus I was ALWAYS grounded for small infractures. Note to self: you can't change the past, but you can affect the future.
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