MK’s middle school dance company coach told her, “You really should try out for [the high school] drill team.” MK sulked, “My mom won’t let me, because of my soccer schedule.” Coach said, “Well, I need to talk to your mom, because you’re really talented, and it’s a shame if you don’t try out.”
What the dance coach doesn’t realize is: one, how painfully aware I am of her dance talent; two, how talented MK is at soccer; and three, how I yearn for a chauffeur who could keep up with not only year-round soccer and dance for MK, but also track, as the high school track coach has made special arrangements with MK’s soccer coach for her to run track whenever soccer is not in conflict.
To paraphrase Elder Ballard, perhaps these coaches do not fully appreciate that “when you schedule a child, you schedule a family, particularly the mother." Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could spend all of my time helping MK to cultivate her tremendous and varied talents? I would love to be that for her. Alas, I have laundry, meals, other soccer schedules, scouts, YW, diapers, toddlers, birthday parties, errands, homework, chores, and the list of excitement goes on….
MK (and Mia to a lesser extent) will probably be the only one(s) to have to sacrifice some of their pursuits, so the younger kids (particularly the toddlers) can enjoy a richer home life instead of be strapped into the car or left at home with an older sibling more often than not.
I trust that Heavenly Father has designed McKenzie’s life plan in such a way as to capitalize on her most important talents, experiences, and growth, because from my limited perspective, I just feel like a stumbling block and a hindrance as MK struggles to magnify her talents. (She shares my view. L)
6 comments:
That's a toughie. I wonder if this is why polygamy was invented. I think we could all use a house full of women sometimes! Good luck sorting it all out!
Of course she's extremely talented at everything. But there are only so many hours in the day, and you're dead right about the littler ones needing their mom at home. This life is all about choices, looks like MK will have to make some of her own. Even choosing between two (or three) great things, is still a hard choice. Good luck!
She will thank you some day.
It's a hard lot in life to be excellent in so many things. Harder yet to give up one or two so others can have time to grow.
How close is McKenzie to getting her driver's license? Parents really enjoy it when kids become their own chauffer! I guess all it takes is an extra car... yikes! It's wonderful that she's so talented that she can really excel at whatever she'd like to do! My parents used to say.... well, we could have bought this or this for you, but we had your two little sisters instead. We agreed that that was the best choice! :)
Patrick was (is) a lot like MK, he is really talented (ntb). When he was growing up, his parents made the opposite decision that you did. They decided that Patrick's baseball, racquetball, soccer, hunting, fishing, skiing, etc. would come before any of the other siblings interests or needs.
They planned ALL of their vacations based on Patrick. Locations and time of the year.
It's interesting as adults now. Patrick feels like he had the best childhood and the 2 greatest parents on earth. ALL his other siblings (2 older and 1 younger) feel like they were completely jipped. None of the other kids were involved in any extracurricular activity whatsoever b/c every time they asked, his parents would respond with - we don't have time between Patrick this and Patrick that, etc. So much so, that his 2 brothers fought like crazy with their wives to only have 1 child - they've both said openly that they don't think you can love/have time for more than one child - all b/c of their experiences. Sad.
Patrick had a tremendous advantage to have all that support - but at a very high cost - the development, growth and fun of all of his siblings.
You are doing the right thing! Tell MK to 'suck it up - xo AJen'
*WOW - I should've emailed that!
Seems to me, no matter what you do, teenagers think you should do more. So, you are probably doing great!
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