How could I have let this happen?

Late one night I stopped and watched as a few pictures of Elle appeared on my screensaver. The picture below was taken the day before the accident, ironically in a hospital.

I thought to myself, "This is the same beautiful little girl who got so broken that she died. How could I have let that happen?"


How could I have let that happen.

It's irrational, but my heart has a mind of its own. I left the computer and cried for awhile on the floor in the kitchen.

As the tears fell I had the thought, "If I 'let' this happen to my young daughter, then it follows that Heavenly Father also 'let' this happen to His daughter. He who loves her even more than I do. He who heard my prayers asking Him to protect her if I couldn't. He who could have prevented it but didn't.

He who makes no mistakes.

He did right by her. He did right by me. And if I can't see how in my limited, finite condition, that's no surprise.

He can see it clearly.



And my guilt is swept away (for now ;)