How I Ruined Getty's Childhood

Getty: Can I get up early and longboard [in the rain] and set up a slack line at the park before school and practice parkour on it?

Me: No... it's dangerous to longboard on wet roads, you need your sleep, you can do it after school....

Getty: Why don't you stop ruining my childhood?!

Ha.

I had a nightmare a few nights ago where I was trying desperately to fix different problems Rob and the kids were having. I awoke exhausted, discouraged, and overwhelmed. This was a revelation to me, although I didn’t recognize it until days later, that the role I was taking in that dream and in my life needed tweaking. I've been taking too much responsibility for my family and their choices.

For example, now that Getty and Mia are older, I need to take myself out of the equation more often, so they can own their choices. I need to let them learn how life works, not just how our home works. And they need to learn the process of making good decisions. I need to let Mia decide things like whether or not to fast once a month on Fast Sunday, whether or not to meet friends at IHOP at midnight on Sunday when she has to get up for cheer Monday morning at 6:00 a.m. Whether or not to sluff a class and have to make it up at attendance school when she already has a packed schedule. I need to talk her through it by asking her thoughtful questions and listening to her answers instead of lecturing her and making decisions for her.

(This is Mia's face whenever I tell her what to do ;)

Basically, I need to allow her to make mistakes on my watch. 

Let the teenagers live with the sleep deprivation and skinned knees from no knee pads. It's an education. That way my role is supportive, as in "Sorry you're so tired today," rather than controlling.

I don't know if I can do this. Somebody stop me. 

It's hard to let go.