Two Questions for an Apostle

I wake everyone up, and we get dressed and reach the hospital just as Elder Bednar and Dr. Larry Staker (the physician charged with the care of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles) are walking down the hallway on their way out.

The account of their meeting with Rob is taken from Dr. Staker's notes: "We had arrived about 9:45 a.m. and had found a broken-hearted father, eyes red from crying and despair on his face. He took us to a private conference room, thanked us for coming, said he wished his wife could have been here and then wept again. He told Elder Bednar that he was a family favorite and expressed how much it meant to him that he would come.

"Elder Bednar said that he had come for one reason, but that Brother Evans would have to stand up to receive it. He then took him in his arms and held him tightly for a few minutes while they wept. Finally, Rob said, 'Tell me that it is all true. I feel like the father who said, "I believe. Help thou mine unbelief."' Elder Bednar replied, 'It's all true. And it's normal to feel that way. This isn't a Sunday School lesson anymore. This is the real deal.' He then explained that sometimes just being together was more important than anything that could be said.

"After some quiet, Elder Bednar offered an experience he had with a young man who had been married only four months and was diagnosed with cancer. He had told Elder Bednar that he didn’t want to leave his new wife or mortality, but that if it was the will of God that he should move on, he could and would accept that. A blessing was given and the next day there was no evidence of his cancer. 

"Eight years later another cancer returned. Elder Bednar was prompted to ask this young man and his wife if they had enough faith in Christ not to be healed. Elder Bednar said he was able to bless this young man using all of the Apostolic keys that he holds and to transfer to him the power to be healed and/or to obey, understand, and comply with the will of God. Elder Bednar said to me [Dr. Staker] on the drive from the hospital, 'Larry, you see we must believe in our hearts and acknowledge to God that we know that he can heal us, and yet we must have faith that if not, we still believe.'

            
"Elder Bednar then gave Rob a blessing of comfort and priesthood empowerment. The three of us walked back to the PICU to see Elle. Elder Bednar touched Elle and spoke softly to her and then asked Rob if he had administered to her. When he answered that he had, no further blessing was needed—a silent affirmation of the priesthood and authority of a father—Elle’s own righteous, priesthood bearing father."

As Elder Bednar and Dr. Staker prepare to leave, I and all five of the kids meet them in the hallway just outside of the PICU. I begin apologizing for misunderstanding what time he would be able to meet with us, knowing how busy he was,... and he says with a smile, "Would you stop?!" 

Elder Bednar asks Rob for permission and then hugs me for a few minutes. He tells me, "That hug wasn't from me." I tell him that I understand the opportunity of speaking to an Apostle and have two questions for him.

First, I explain that I don't want to believe that this accident was a random event. I don't want to believe that if it weren't for the precise timing of Elle's friend's family leaving, Elle's pace walking down the sidewalk, and the driver's family of four being ready to go and backing out at the very moment Elle would be undetected, she would still be with us and could live a long life with marriage and kids of her own. I ask him, "What are your thoughts?" 

Elder Bednar quotes Joseph Fielding Smith at the funeral of Richard L. Evans, "'No righteous man dies before his time.' Elle hasn't reached the age of accountability, so we know that if she dies, she has qualified for the Celestial kingdom.... She will have graduated to the next life.... God's will cannot be circumvented."

I feel relieved by this reassurance. I don't know which events God causes or allows, but I know He can and does prevent situations that would interfere with His will or His plan for someone's life.

Rob had told Elder Bednar that Elle's doctors predicted her brain would be devastated in a few more hours. My second question for the Apostle is, "Do we take Elle off of life support if her brain is devastated but her body continues to function on life support?" He answers, "What do you think?" I feel a very clear and strong answer—"Yes. But, I don't want to do anything that Heavenly Father would not approve of." He says, "I don't think mothers can do anything wrong in these situations." 

Dr. Staker leans over to me and says, "As a doctor, I'm telling you that you need to take her off of life support."

I am impressed that Elder Bednar doesn't tell me what to do, but instead defers to Rob's and my personal revelation and to Rob's priesthood authority as Elle's father.

Elder Bednar takes each of the kids in his arms and hugs them.

A few minutes after they leave, Rob takes me aside and tells me, "The doctor just told me Elle's left pupil has blown. She is brain dead."