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Monday, November 23, 2009

Crucial Convo's


I’m reading “Crucial Conversations,” and learning all about my rookie mistakes. How—even when you’re convinced you’re right—to not force your opinion down people’s (Rob’s, McKenzie’s, Mia’s, Cattens…) throats. How to start with your facts, NOT your conclusions. How to talk tentatively—to state your story as a possibility, not a hard fact—as in, “I wonder if….” How to step back and ask yourself, “What do I really want?” and “How would I act right now if I really wanted these results?”

These are all skills I apparently lack. First of all, I’m always right. Like my dad would say, “Of course I think I’m right. I wouldn’t hold that opinion if it were wrong.” Secondly, I like to dazzle people with my “conclusions” without stating the evidence that led me there. I like to keep them wondering how on earth I could have known—that it must be my sheer genius and spiritual discernment. Third, I take no prisoners in battle. To step back would be to give the opponent the time to develop his case without cross-examination, gaining points he would never otherwise win, or worse, to let him think he’s stumped me.

You didn’t know I was such a head case, did you? The truth comes out….

5 comments:

Linda Barton said...

If it helps, I think you are always right...and since I'm always right that is saying something!

Mia said...

Linds, you're the greatest.

Marianne said...

I love that you're trying to better yourself. It's hard to change the way you think...or talk...or argue. Good job!

Jen V said...

Thanks for that. Just to let you know, I am going to blame you for those same characteristics in me! Haha - actually - we should both blame Dad...

Anonymous said...

How could someone who is constantly striving to learn and grow be wrong? I know that you take much from your conversations with other people. I admire your self-awareness and striving to improve who you are...you inspire all of us I think!