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Monday, January 31, 2011

Our Family Heart Attack

Our new Valentine's Day tradition is to give ourselves a heart attack during Family Night a few weeks before Valentine's. We write something we love about each family member on a heart and then plaster the great room with them. Rob loves this. (I got the idea from Shawni Pothier's blog.)
These are some of my favorites:
I [heart] Getty because he is such a STUD! and is pro @ Madden 10 (MK)/I love Rob's righteous heart (Me)
Mom understands—Mia
I [heart] Mia because she is my sister & my best friend. Can talk & tell her anything! + she's hilarious! (MK)
 
Elle is yelly. Cy
MK, I can tell her anything, athletic—Mia
I [heart] mom because she tries so hard & doesn't let anything/anyone stop her (MK). (Later she told me that can be a good thing or a bad thing) :(
I love my laugh—Cy
I love Mia's stile [style]—Cy
I [heart] Elle because she is the sassiest little girl ever & its hilarious (MK).
I love Mia's pondering (Dad)/I [heart] dad & his OH SO "HIP" comments & dance moves (MK).
Happy Valentine's Day :)

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Brotherly Love

I found these two all snuggled up in Elle's bed "reading" in the late afternoon. It reminded me of Sunday morning when Elle brought me her princess storybook, so we climbed into my bed with Cam and read about Cinderella, Snow White, and Briar Rose. When the prince leaned over to kiss a sleeping Snow White, Cam leaned over and kissed Elle on the head. Awwwwww. Sweet as pie.
...And then he didn't stop.
She batted him away, gave him the evil eye, protested loudly, ...and still the kissing.
Well, it was sweet when it started.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Change

So, my resolutions in the Emotional category are many and for good reason: I have GOT to change my general approach from stressed to happy! As I described it to Megan, "My general mood is not mad—it's waiting to be mad." As the kids have grown and required new parenting adjustments, along with maintaining the little kids, I didn't compensate by acquiring more coping skills. I read a lot about stress, parenting strategies, and anger-management (chronic anger means you're trying to control someone—haha that rung a bell :). But, as I contemplated making this change, I got so bogged down thinking how on earth am I going to change my very nature? My task-oriented, productive, plow-through, do-it-now core attitude, which translates into seeing/dealing with whiny, messy, forgetful kids as obstacles instead of my LIFE and my loves, which they are. I had just about convinced myself that I was stuck with my personality as is. But, humbled as I was (very), I prayed for strength and for measurable progress and had a thought: I could at least try an experiment. I would try to go an entire day without reacting stressfully, and I would track this as an "H" (happy) on my calendar ("S" for acting stressed out at any point during the day).

Tracking is critical for me. Last year I made resolutions and then promptly forgot all about them. This year I'm posting them in my closet and tracking some on my calendar, so I remember, I'm accountable, and I can hopefully see progress right there in black and white.

So far, I'm 15 "H's" for 15 days. It's been hard. I'm committed to make "H's" 21 days in a row, so then it'll technically be a habit. Then I'll work up to a full month, then longer. (I'll allow for a few mistakes IF I can tell I've made a fundamental change. Otherwise, I'll be in the depths...) But for now it's one challenging day at a time. Whereas before, I got my stress out through venting and through my tone of voice, now I carry that stress inside of me. I was surprised the first few days to actually feel it sitting there in my chest all day.

This is the part where I need to develop some serious coping skills. I figure it starts with my thoughts. I used to think I could talk all crazy-mad and sarcastic to myself just as long as the kids didn't hear it, but I realize now that it just feeds my stress, and it gets bigger... and sometimes the kids do hear me. And I need to adjust my expectations. And breathe. The biggest shift in my paradigm happened when it occurred to me—"If I'm mad, I can't have the Spirit with me. So even if I'm 'right,' I'm wrong." And we all know how I hate to be wrong :)

It is getting easier as the days pass. You can't believe how rewarding it is. The changes I've recognized in my kids at times and in the tone of the home flat out amaze me. Elle follows me around like a puppy dog—she just wants to be near me (she's not afraid of me anymore? ouch...) Mia asked, "Why are you so happy all the time now?" After Cam reported to me that Elle had peed the carpet for the 900th time (ok, we'll say 50th), Cam asked me, "Are you mad?" ...because he can't tell!!! I've confused everyone! It's awesome. And honestly, I'm not mad. The more days that pass, I find that I can accept most situations immediately (which requires a good dose of humility) and get straight to the solution. As long as I can stay focused on my number one priority—to not flip out—then, the whole world can fall apart temporarily, and I won't crumble along with it.

The kids' tantrums and disrespect are shorter-lived. Except when they're not. Mia, MK, and Getty in particular have decided they'd better train me good and hard by pulling out all the stops. The toughest test of my resolve was facing Getty after I informed him that I found out he had several missing assignments (typical), and that he would have to find or re-do them that weekend. After Getty went nuclear for three hours, during which I kept him in his room for the duration of the meltdown and tried to stay out of earshot (and tried to ignore the elephant sitting on my chest, and yes I'll be heading for a heart attack if I don't start coping better), I found a little note scrawled onto our chalkboard, "I Love You Mom." It's not that I did anything great, I just didn't get upset. That made all the difference. Normally, I would have wondered aloud why on earth he can do the work but just can't seem to turn the dang paper in... blah blah blah. But now he doesn't see me as the enemy—the one who is all disappointed and frustrated with him. He and the rest of the kids recognize that since I'm not stressed, it must be their problem, not mine.
The biggest revelation to me? Change is possible. Rob said to me, "I think I have an idea now how you've felt about my changes in the last two years. I watch you, and it's just not you." I hope it's the new me. But I'm still not out of the woods. A week longer for the first milestone. Wish me more than luck.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Resolutions, 2011

Most of my resolutions for 2011:
Spiritual
1. Consistent morning prayers, personal and family
2. Read B of M in 60 days, then maintain my normal scripture study schedule, because (lifetime goal) I want to be a "scriptorian"
3. Maintain temple attendance goal (because I need some peace and quiet in my life —haha)

Educational

1. Read a “best” book every month, because (lifetime goal) I want to be well-read. This month it's "A Mother's Book of Secrets," by Linda Eyre and Shawni Eyre Pothier.
2. Encourage kids to set goals and then review their goals with them on Momma Mondays or Popcorn Pillow Talks. I like Benjamin Franklin's practice of working on one concept a month to improve himself. I wonder if I can con my kids into doing it. And do you think they'd take suggestions? ;)

Emotional

1. Be Happy vs. Stressed. Track daily on calendar, H or S. This is my "concept" this month. (More on this later...)
2. Don’t blame yourself for things that are out of your control.
3. Be totally available for kids after school for one hour (minimum) with no distractions.
4. Trust the goodness in the kids.
5. Don’t say a negative word about anyone. (I don't think I have a big problem with this, but I'm going to track it as "ugly"[because it is] on my calendar because I don't ever want to do it.) So far I've been "ugly" once in the past two weeks—during my soccer game. Isn't it weird how sports bring out the crazy in us (ok, me)? Geez.

Physical Health

1. Maintain exercise schedule 3 times/week
2. Early to bed; early to rise. (Probably my toughest goal this year. I'm fighting a seriously resistant body clock. I can get up [because I have to, except on weekends when I don't get up til I am pushed out], but I just have not been able to force myself to get into bed before 11:30.)

Social/Friends

1. Be more affectionate with the older kids
2. Make regular contact with friends, because (lifetime goal) I want to have a lot of close personal and couple friends that we see often and have a lot of FUN with

So far, I've seen some progress and that gets me so excited! Hope it lasts... 

(BTW, is it kosher to use google images on your personal blog?....)

Sunday, January 23, 2011

60 Day Challenge

Yesterday, my Relief Society President challenged us as a ward Relief Society to read the Book of Mormon in 60 days. The last time I read it in a consolidated period of time (President Hinckley's challenge that I finally got on board with sometime in October that year), I learned so much more about the big picture. Normally, when I read in little snatches, it makes it hard for me to remember where I've been and where I'm going in the storyline. So, a few years ago when I read a lot every day, there were places where I couldn't wait to see what happened next. I got a lot out of the themes, too. Different themes stand out every time I read it. I'm excited to see what hits me this time. The R.S. President asked for our comments, and one of the sisters said, "I read the 'Twilight' series books in four days each, so I don't think I have an excuse not to read this book in two months, even with my four busy little boys."


Here's the schedule:


1 1 Nephi 1-4
2 1 Nephi 5-10
3 1 Nephi 11-13
4 1 Nephi 14-16
5 1 Nephi 17-18
6 1 Nephi 19-22
7 2 Nephi 1-3
8 2 Nephi 4-7
9 2 Nephi 8-9
10 2 Nephi 10-15
11 2 Nephi 16-23
12 2 Nephi 24-26
13 2 Nephi 27-30
14 2 Nephi 31-33
15 Jacob 1-4
16 Jacob 5-7
17 Enos, Jarom, Omni & Words of Mormon
18 Mosiah 1-3
19 Mosiah 4-8
20 Mosiah 9-12
21 Mosiah 13-17
22 Mosiah 18-21
23 Mosiah 22-26
24 Mosiah 27-29
25 Alma 1-4
26 Alma 5-7
27 Alma 8-10
28 Alma 11-13
29 Alma 14-17
30 Alma 18-21
31 Alma 22-25
32 Alma 26-29
33 Alma 30-32
34 Alma 33-36
35 Alma 37-40
36 Alma 41-44
37 Alma 45-48
38 Alma 49-51
39 Alma 52-56
40 Alma 57-59
41 Alma 60-63
42 Helaman 1-4
43 Helaman 5-7
44 Helaman 8-12
45 Helaman 13-16
46 3 Nephi 1-4
47 3 Nephi 5-8
48 3 Nephi 9-12
49 3 Nephi 13-17
50 3 Nephi 18-20
51 3 Nephi 21-26
52 3 Nephi 27-30
53 4 Nephi, Mormon 1-2
54 Mormon 3-7
55 Mormon 8-9
56 Ether 1-5
57 Ether 6-10
58 Ether 11-15
59 Moroni 1-7
60 Moroni 8-10

My strategy is to listen to it on my iphone, hopefully in the morning during breakfast and clean-up (I eat after the kids do). My friend just keeps a copy in her car and takes it along in her purse wherever she goes. That way, when she's waiting at a doctor's office or for her son's practice to be over, she just pulls it out and reads. Good plan.

The R.S. Pres. also gave us a list of some of the blessings promised to those that read it. Some of my favorites are:

There will come a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God.—Pres. Hinckley, June 1988 Ensign
You will have greater discernment, insight, conviction, and spirit than those who do not.—Pres. Benson, 1975

A power will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin serious study of the book.
Greater power to resist temptation.

Power to avoid deception.
You will find life in greater and greater abundance.
—Pres. Benson, October 1986 General Conference


When we read prayerfully and regularly both by ourselves and with our children, these are some of the promises:

The spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein.

Mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow.
The spirit of contention will depart.
Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom.
Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents.
Righteousness will increase.

Faith, hope, and charity will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness.
—Pres. Benson, October 1986 General Conference quoting President Marion G. Romney, April 1980 General Conference

[Making study of this book a lifetime pursuit...] will give spiritual and intellectual unity to your whole life.—Pres. Benson, April 1975 General Conference
The Book of Mormon will change your life....It will bring a spirituality into your life that no other book will. —Pres. Benson, April 1986, Priesthood Session of General Conference

Seriously. How can I walk away from that?

Friday, January 21, 2011

I Get Knocked Down, But I Get Up Again....

MK arrived home from the soccer tournament battle-worn and satisfied. She was stomped-on, knee-d, elbowed, kicked [you know, the usual], and then slide-tackled on her breakaways. The upside was, her defenders were yellow-carded and then red-carded, which ultimately resulted in a penalty kick in the goal box the last 2 minutes of a tied 0-0 championship game. We scored! and won the Vegas Cup.

A Procrastinator I'm Not

[Getty's photo]
So, it's January. Time to start thinking about Thanksgiving, right? My thoughts exactly. I've been working on this little project this week just in case I don't have time in the next ten months to get around to it. Plus, if I don't do it now, I'll forget about this awesome idea, and that's unpardonable in my book. I read about the "Thanksgiving Tree" in "Three Steps to a Strong Family." I'm sure I'll post the details in November when it's a bit more relevant. (But I hate to put that post off for so long... ;)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Navajo Tacos

Mia walks into the pantry and sees rolls rising, "Mmmmm...rolls!"
"Nope. Navajo Tacos."
[high-pitched scream] "YESSSS!!!"
Getty overheard and said, "Why'd you tell me that? Now I have to make THIS sound—[screechy ecstatic yelp]!!!!"
Later, Cy asks, "Mom, what's for dinner?"
(Here we go again....) "Navajo Tacos."
"What?! Yaaaay!!!" [much rejoicing, touchdown celebrations, etc.]
I thought, "I really should blog how much our family loves Navajo Tacos.... Nah."
And then at dinner as Getty went for his next bite, he said, "I'd rather have these than...malts."
That did it. So, here's your post on Navajo Tacos. Thrillsville.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

In-lovable

Rob and I plopped down on our bed after he got home from work the other day and were discussing his job and options for his future career, and he looked over at me and said out of the blue, "...I love you."
It's always great to hear it spontaneously, but more especially because I've been working on being, what I call, more "in-lovable."
This consists of a few things: one, affection (we all know how husbands dig that :); two, listening to him without inserting my "judgment"; and three, negotiating in such a way as to give him as much of what he wants as possible without sacrificing what's most important to me. No convincing, arguing, all-or-nothing thinking—just respecting his wants as much as my own. I'm getting better at accepting Rob's opinion and mine. And building and resolving from there. Seriously, I know this is basic, but I'm just now grasping these concepts.
Rob's just lovable because he IS. (No fair. I have to work so hard at it....)

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

The Games Boys Play

Rob and two of the boys followed MK and her soccer team to Las Vegas for their first tournament of the year. The girls on the team promptly adopted our two monkeys, calling Cy "Sevens" and Getty "Gevans." While the girls took no prisoners on the soccer field, the boys entertained themselves on the sidelines. Check out this video.

They were also up past 2:00 a.m. riding the Stratosphere. Wow, when Mom's not around to tuck them in, they really do go nuts :)
This photo makes me hurt every time I see it. It looks like Cy's eyes are rolling back into his head in sheer denial :/

Saturday, January 15, 2011

What to do when you can't go home?...

Go for ice cream :)
Spend Saturday at the rec center fitness fair. Visit the booths. Run the track.
I told M&M, "Watch this...and keep your eyes wide, 'cause I'll be just a blur..." as I turned on the turbo and flew down the track with blinding speed—(kinda lying here). They looked at each other (is she as fast as she thinks she is? We'll see about that...).
MK's not even taking me seriously—running with an ipod in one hand and her phone in the other. Look at her(!?) —what the heck is she doing anyway?
hahahahaha
Pose for the camera. Again. (Sigh)
Play ball and swim.
The girls played wall ball; the boys played racquetball and swam. The todds swam with Daddy, I hot tubbed, and then we ate Subway and tacos with Granny at Barbacoa and headed home to the white noise of eight dryers.
Not such a bad deal, this flood aftermath :)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Cam discriminates

Cam deciding who to share his treat with: “Hmmmm. Mia’s the nicest, Elle’s the beautifulest, but I have to choose the goodest helper to me. Mia.”

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

My favorite thing to consider...

Mosiah 2:41 is probably my favorite scripture in all of scripturedom. The Lord guarantees happiness. I wouldn't mind being happy for eternity.

I love that we're blessed temporally. Not necessarily wealth and not protection from anything destructive, but since we live as mortals in a physical realm with weather conditions; human limitations and vulnerabilities; and the principle of entropy requiring that we constantly maintain, organize, and repair everything in our environment; it's nice to know that's taken into consideration.

I love that we're blessed spiritually, because we are first and foremost spiritual beings. Our peace, our hope, our character, our capacity to love, our capacity to learn—these are blessed.

I love that the Lord promises we will in fact be blessed in ALL things. Everything we do, everything we try, every relationship, every challenge, every project, all things. Not blessed with success in all things, but blessed in the ways only God would know will, in actual reality, benefit us most in this life and beyond. And I trust God. And I definitely don't want to be left to my own strength. It's a scripture I want our kids to always remember and to trust in. It's foundational for faith in a loving God. I put it on our wall in vinyl lettering on the landing of the kitchen stairs, and Rob made the kids extra-large malts when they memorized it (Elle's still working on it...not really).

Monday, January 10, 2011

Text conversations

MK: Pops, Zona is coming over...that alright?? No I do not like him if you're wondering

Rob: He can only come if you like him and you plan on kissing him.

I'm so glad they have each other :)

Sunday, January 9, 2011

If I Had My Druthers...

...we would stick to 1/hr. screen time a day. Rob is much more lenient. The kids understand our discrepancy, and so, if I'm not actively managing it, 1/hr. is thrown out the window.

...I would ban white bread in the house. But Rob hates wheat, and Rob packs the school lunches (these are two more reasons the kids love their dad).

...I would make the kids work more and give them less. Rob likes to supplement their budget whenever they "really" need it (read: ask for it nicely). And I would expect the kids to do their own chores and not regularly make deals with Dad for foot rubs.

So am I saying if I had it my way, my husband wouldn't have a vote? Because he does. They're his kids, too. And boy are they happy about that. Me too.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Oh. No.

We left for one night. That was the night our toilet decided to keep on, keepin' on. It flooded into the master bathroom, under the wall to the carpeted hallway, through the kitchen ceiling and onto the (now warped) wood floor on the main level, and on down to the basement floor. Yipes.

Now what?
So, we live with several industrial dryers that blow day and night (LOUD, think airport runway loud) for 7-8 days on all three floors. (Ever experience sensory overload? Auditory exhaustion? [I made that last one up.]) Our kitchen gets quarantined, and we eat dinner out every night (yes!!!). Then comes the tricky part. The entire wood floor needs to be sanded down and refinished, not just the damaged part. This is a problem because our wood floor extends from the kitchen and breakfast nook, down the hallway to MK's room, and into the dining room. Lots of furniture to be moved. Toxic fumes. Can't stay here for three(?) days. Hmmmmm.
Hotel Waterpark?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

New Year's Getaway

Wadsworth's spent the night (we Qwirkled and talked til 1 a.m.), then in the morning we headed out to Hotel Waterpark, with JCDub's as a pit stop for lunch.
Elle's a major cheeser. She's like Chris Rock; he'd flip through magazines when he was little expecting to see his photo featured, "Wha—? They dissed me again!"

Oh, now I see where she gets it from....
Remember surgery? The stitches can't get wet (what were we thinking?). M&M didn't let that stop them—they just kept their hands in the air (Dad must've given them a tutorial in his classic "pruney hands" pose—wish I had a photo).
Cattens met us at the hotel. We had tons to catch up on.
Hallway races. This kind of super sonic speed can't be captured on camera (okay, my camera).
Cards til we can barely keep our eyes open—a must when we get together with Cattens. Usually it's Nertz, and I get humiliated (but I LOVE that game!). This time it was Scum. (Michele plays, too—I just took the photo too soon.)

Bed jumping. (It's a sport.)





Fun times.
And then we got home...another adventure awaited (next post).