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Wednesday, March 19, 2014

A Telling Dream

In my dream, I saw Elle lying on the floor of her bedroom wearing one of her favorite outfits—the cream-colored crushed velvet gymnastic suit that used to be M&M's.

[She's wearing it under her Cinderella dress]

[This is one of my favorite pics of Elle—what a sweetheart posing for the camera.]

As I looked at Elle lying on the floor, I knew she had been dead for the past two years. I had been keeping her body in our home, so I could hold her and be with her.

Suddenly, it occurred to me that the grave I had been visiting regularly had been empty all along. I began to panic thinking that she belonged in her grave and that we would have to go through another burial service. But as I looked longingly at her, I decided to keep her with me instead. I leaned over to gather her into my arms but realized that she must be decomposing. As I checked her body, a menacing snake slithered out from underneath her. I yelled for Rob and ran to get some Kleenex to squash it. Rob was nowhere to be found. I woke up.


And that about sums up my stage of grief after two years. I know she is dead, but I can't bury her.


Btw, a flimsy Kleenex? to kill a snake?

I don't have many tools to cope with Elle's death, but Kleenex is definitely one of them ;)



2 comments:

Anna Whiston-Donaldson said...

Aw, Sweetie, that sounds so hard. I wish us both dreams of being w/ our children, loving on them, and being loved by them. xoxo

Linda Barton said...

After what you've been through these past two years, you just need a kleenex to get rid of the snake. It shows how tough you are;)
Two years. Two years. That's unreal. I love you, Lorenne. Not only are you my hero, and idol, you are the best example of grace and wisdom. You are one in a million and I don't know what I would do without you!
Love,
Linda :)